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Beauty In The Ugly Cry

Most days I don’t wear makeup. But Sundays are special to me. My Sabbath days finds me with extra family time without the hustle of the school week. I like dressing up for church even though my church is a “Come As You Are” type of place.

Sunday is the one day this busy mama of 6 takes time to put on more than Eos on her lips. So Sunday dress up and make up put a little extra pep in my #momlife step and I feel good about me as I eagerly head out for a time of corporate worship.

But not today. As I was getting ready for church today I had this feeling.

I took out my makeup bag

Sat on my bathroom sink

And said to myself….

“Girl, don’t even bother. TODAY you’re gonna do the ugly cry.”

And it’s not like this had really come on me all of a sudden. Since before Valentine’s Day I’ve been suppressing it. Like Atlas trying to hold up the sky, I had been buckling under the weight of the issues of life.

We’re supposed to be STRONG they say. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you they say. But I also know that the Word says when I am weak, His strength is made perfect. And I was weak.

But I tried to be strong. Be strong for my spouse, strong for the women I minister to, strong for my children, strong for my friends, strong for my Dad.

It came to my attention that I was suppressing it when I found myself standing over the kitchen sink washing dishes (side note: I happened to do a video a few weeks ago called My Washing is My Worship). Something about washing dishes causes a stirring in my spirit. So I’m washing and I feel it welling. It’s coming up…up. When it gets to my breastbone, I force it back down as I look over and see my children.

“Should I let them see me cry?”

“I don’t want them to worry.”

“Will they call my husband and then he’ll be worried?”

Stuff the tears. Force them back down. Make everybody think everything is okay because you are ok right?

Well, maybe not. [bctt tweet=”Is it okay to not be okay? Will we grant ourselves permission to feel pain, to grieve, to lament?” username=”inspiredfully”] Because there is a season for everything under the heavens right?

I was reminded of a teaching I had done just 2 weeks ago and the title was “Permission Granted”.

So I granted myself permission for the ugly cry. No makeup on I headed into the sanctuary at church with an open heart. I presented myself before God as the WHOLE me. The whole me including the broken me. Not just the me that dresses up and puts on makeup but also the me whose arms get tired. The me whose patience runs out. The me who has come to the end of herself and come to the beginning of the resurrection POWER.

And when the choir proceeded to sing one of my new favorite songs, I was completely UNDONE. Feel free to picture the most hilarious ugly cry GIF you can think of here. Go ahead and laugh ’cause I’m laughing with you. If someone turned my cry today into a GIF I wouldn’t even be mad because it was a classic.

That cry was CLEANSING, CATHARTIC and FREEING.

So what does the Word say about crying?

“You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle…” Psalm 56:8

“Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble and he delivered them from their distress,” Psalm 107:6

“Jesus wept,” John 11:35

There is beauty in the UGLY CRY my friends. I pray you too grant yourself permission to pour your heart to before the Father. Grant yourself permission to be vulnerable. Should it happen while in the arms of a loving friend, in the arms of your spouse, alone in your prayer closet, at a worship service or over your kitchen sink with the children looking on, you will not only cleanse your heart but it can show others what healthy expression of emotions looks like.

When is the last time you had an ugly cry? Are you due for one? If yes, permission granted because there is beauty in the ugly cry.

As always it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

Happy to join these friends sharing the Good News Mommy Moments, Purposeful Faith, Chasing Community,  Grace & Truth

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3 Steps For When You’re Feeling Weak

“Girl, you are superwoman!”

 

For once and for all let me dispel this myth. I am no superwoman, more like super mistake maker, super grace receiver, super Jesus girl. Truth be told, I am vulnerable. I get tired. I too have my kryptonite. If only you saw me when the pot of rice was on the stove burning, the baby was crying, trying to help three with homework and emailing the teacher about a missing assignment all at the same time; you’d would see my fragility.

 

Without my Jesus, I am nothing. Apart from the vine we are nothing.

 

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

 

That’s as super as it gets. We should all strive to be super vine clingers. Have you ever tried to be Superwoman? Have you ever tried to do and be everything to everybody? How’d that work out for ya? I don’t know about you, but that left me depleted. You can only love through Christ who strengthens you. You can only give through Christ who strengthens you. You can only serve through Christ who strengthens you.

 

Beware of falling into the pit of perfection. Perfect wife. Perfect employee. Perfect mommy. There is no such thing. You don’t have to try to do all and be all. Stay in your lane and be proficient at what God’s called you to do. He’s given YOU a specific assignment so stick to it. It’s when you go picking up other things, in all YOUR super strength and might that your hands get too full you can get into trouble.

 

I invite you to join me in clinging fiercely to the Father. From this place you don’t have to worry about perfection but will be the recipient of his unmerited favor. Do you ever feel unqualified, inadequate, weak or incapable? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I wonder if all my efforts will pay off. But the wondering is usually a trick of the enemy. When he sees a crack in your finish, he attempts to seep his poison in. He’ll try to play on your weaknesses and parenting is an area in life where we can feel the most weak.

 

So what do you do when you’re feeling weak?

 

  1. Give Yourself Permission To Be Vulnerable

 

Open your heart, release your concerns and fall into the loving arms of the Lord. In His strong arms you can be vulnerable.

 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

 

Not only are you made strong when you are weak, but God wants to use you right in that place of weakness.

 

When people see me with my children and say things like “Motherhood is your ministry” my flesh used to prickle because the voice of the accuser said, “Yeah but they didn’t see you roll eyes at your kid last night”. But I know the truth. I KNOW that the Lord has supernaturally taught me to love, nurture and shepherd this little flock. I know he’s using me right at my point of weakness. Just like He used Moses. Doubting Moses. Unqualified Moses. Fearful Moses. Moses who was fearful and ran from his staff when it turned into a snake; God told him to PICK UP that very thing and use it as a sign. The same thing that Moses ran from was the very instrument that would hit a rock to bring water to nourish the people and would part the waters so they could cross on dry land. God used Moses’ weakness and He wants to use yours too.

 

[bctt tweet=”Your weaknesses aren’t flaws to be magnified but opportunities for God’s grace to be glorified.” username=”inspiredfully”]

 

  1. Acknowledge That It Is Okay To Make Mistakes

 

Making mistakes is part of the human experience. Give yourself permission to experience a full range of emotions and partake in the depth and breadth of your personal experiences, including the messy days.

 

  1. Be Compassionate With Yourself

 

To be compassionate is to care about the misfortune or suffering of others. But where is your self-compassion? I say you owe it to yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. The danger of being too harsh with you is that it can translate to being harsh with others. If you are overly concerned with how other views you, you can end up being harder on your loved ones than necessary. Then you can become even harsher on yourself for having been harsh to your loved one when that wasn’t even your original intent. This can be a painful cycle. So as you extend compassion and grace to others, make sure you start with yourself.

 

Remember, in your weakness you are made strong. Be strong in His might today.

 

To continue this story, pick up a copy of my new book, Purposeful Parenting.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

 

Happy to partner with these friends sharing the Good News Mommy Moments, Purposeful Faith, Chasing Community, Grace & Truth

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