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A Fear Fighting START

It was 5:13am and I already felt defeated. My sweet baby was waking up yet again for another feeding.

 

I’m never going get enough sleep.

 

I’m never going to be an author and a speaker because I can’t get enough sleep to even work on the vision.

 

How will I ever manage to live the dream God has given me if I can’t even manage the little affairs of the home?

 

How will I ever serve a thousand when I can’t even get through one basket of laundry?

 

Never mind then just forget the whole thing!

 

You see fear has a way of doing that. Fear has a way of convincing you that your God dream is too big and your abilities too small. Fear has a way of putting 3D glasses on you and playing the reel as failure after failures comes whizzing past your face. And fear attempts to preserve itself at all costs.

 

Fear will have you convinced there are NO other options.

 

Fear is determined to win.

 

But TRUTH arises.

 

When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. John 16:13a

 

As TRUTH stood tall in me, I couldn’t help but to square my shoulders. Moments ago they had been hanging low. My posture was more Hunchback of Notre Dame than Daughter of the Most High God.  But today is my start. Kelly Balarie, in her new book, Fear Fighting says, “We don’t need to tell ourselves stop because the Spirit says Start.”

 

So what’s my “Start?”

 

Today I start with a YES.

 

I say yes to the Spirit.

 

I say yes to me.

 

The Spirit says, “Start believing in yourself. Because you believe in Me, you can believe in you. I created you.”

 

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Thank you God. I’m going to believe in me.

 

I give myself permission to show up just as I am.

 

I give myself permission to be here for me.

 

I give myself permission to embrace my greatness. After all, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

 

I’m not going to stay in this same place when God has given me a glimpse of my greatness. I do my God a disservice when I minimizing the person He created me to be. I won’t do Him an injustice my living smaller than who He created me to be. Christ gave Himself that I might LIVE…..not that I might merely survive life.

 

 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20

 

Standing on chubby bowed legs, an 11 month old hangs securely to the side of the couch. Not far away mama stands with her arms outstretched. Mama’s face radiates love. Mama’s face reflects trust, security and confidence. Mama’s face and outstretched arms relay a powerful message to the baby; so powerful that baby willingly releases the comfort and security of clinging to the couch, to totter precariously over to mama. One measured step, after another, then another. All the while mama’s face reassuringly communicates, not only are you safe, but I believe in you. You can do it. And when baby makes it all the way to mama they both rejoice. You did it baby. I knew you could. You did it.

 

Jesus says the same to us. Let go of the side of the couch. I’m waiting with my arms outstretched. Press beyond your fear. Activate your faith. Come to me. You are safe. I believe in you.

 

START.

 

[bctt tweet=”With active faith, fear doesn’t stand a chance.” username=”inspiredfully”]

 

So what is your START? Whatever it is, take the step. Tell me in the comments how I can pray for you.

 

Join the #fearfightingbook movement. Pick up your copy of Fear Fighting today!

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully.

 

Happy to connect with friends sharing Good News Purposeful Faith, Grace & Truth

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Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror,

What do I see?

I see a fat girl

Looking at me.

 

“You are fat!”

“Oh my gawd, you are so fat!”

“Do you see those rolls? They are just SO fat!”

 

So went my dialogue with myself.

 

EV-ER-Y SINGLE TIME I walked pass a mirror, these were my thoughts.

 

A torrent of hot lava flowing over my spirit leaving the ash of a charred self image in its wake.

 

Remember her?

 

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Gone was my athletic body, replaced now with my post-pregnancy body replete with bumps, lumps and rolls.

 

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Pre-pregnancy I was in the best physical shape in my life. I was working out 5-6 days a week. After having been pregnant or nursing for the last 13 years, this was the longest stretch I had gone between pregnancies and I felt like I finally had my body back. I fought kicking and screaming to surrender to my pregnant body. Mid-way through my pregnancy I came to love and accept my pregnant body. But post-baby was another story.

 

“Oohhh girl, you are SO fat!”

 

There I went again. But this time the Holy Spirit stopped me dead in my tracks. As I looked at myself, held in position at the mirror a moment longer, the Holy Spirit said, “Toxic thoughts. You speak life and encouragement to everyone else and you are speak death to yourself.”

 

Grateful that he got my attention, I knew I had to o something about it. I had to excavate the skills I’d acquired from

The 21 Day Brain Detox. I had to take those toxic thoughts captive and replace them with the TRUTH.

 

I was speaking with a friend the other day and she says she asks herself “Is it true?”

 

For truth says:

 

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

PSALM 139:13-15

 

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.

Song of Solomon 4:7

 

I am created in His image. You are created in His image. You are His workmanship. [bctt tweet=”You are a work of art, skillfully wrought at the hands of a Master artisan.” username=”inspiredfully”] You are beautiful, capable, and more than enough just the way you are.

 

THIS IS THE TRUTH.

 

And what was this preoccupation with body image anyway? I thought this was something I had resolved and put to rest. Having been heavier before, I learned to listen to the Holy Spirit as to how to honor my temple. And even though I know this is baby weight and it will most likely all disappear, I’m still nervous. And even though I have gone back down to my former size after every baby (five times I’ve bounced back), there is still this looming doubt, “What if I don’t lose the weight this time?” I just can’t bear the thought of walking around indefinitely feeling like The Stay Puft Marshmallow (ok so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but if you’ve ever been concerned about weight you get what I’m saying). Of course it doesn’t help when all my old clothes are still hanging in my closet but I can’t fit any of them. And there are but a handful of pieces I can fit so it can be overwhelming just to get dressed. Then don’t let me stumble upon old pics in my phone because that can hurl me smack dab into a pit of self-loathing.

 

What lies are trying to tap dance their way across you’re your mind?

 

Shatter the darkness and ditch the lies. Allow the light of truth to permeate every crack, corner and recess of your mind. Allow His light and love to course through your veins. Meditate on that which is true, lovely and praiseworthy.

 

The other day, I saw a glimpse of myself, smiled and thought, “Yes girl, you are working it!”

 

No pride. No vanity. Just a girl, loved by an awesome Father.

 

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

 

Happy to partner with these friends sharing the Good News Purposeful Faith, Mommy Moments, Grace & Truth

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What Are You Worth?

Worthy –

  • 1
:  having worth or value: estimable, honorable, meritorious
  • 2
:  having sufficient worth or importance

 

Synonyms: admirable, deserving, excellent, laudable, noble, true, valuable, respectable, satisfying, good.

 

Life circumstances, usually occurring in childhood, influence our perceived self worth. We come to believe and accept certain things about ourselves. These become our core beliefs. Core beliefs are beliefs that help us define who we are and how we fit into the world around us. Along the way, we can adopt negative or unbalanced core beliefs.

 

Some commonly held negative core beliefs are:

I am unworthy

I am unlovable

I am unsafe

I don’t belong

I am wrong

I am defective

 

Then we react, make decisions and interact with people based on these negative core beliefs.

 

Since January of 2014 I have been on an inner healing journey. The excavation process has been long and hard. Like an archeologist, I have been digging, brushing, picking and chipping away to unearth the negative core beliefs I’d come to accept. In order for me to walk in the liberty that Christ has offered me, I MUST unshackle beliefs that do not align with His truth.

 

I have come a long way over the last two years but as I saw from an incident recently there is still work to do.

 

I was completing the registry for my 6th baby. In my heart of hearts I desired to have a new car seat and stroller for the baby. All of my children after the first had been using the hand-me-downs from my other children or from the bounty that is shared among my women’s group at church. And realistically, I would have to get a new one anyway because many of the old car seats have long passed their expiration dates and I’d recently gotten rid of the ones I had here at home. But when it came time to put it on the registry, the negative self-talk arose.

 

“You don’t deserve it.”

“You ingrate, just accept a hand-me-down one.”

“No one will buy you one.”

“You expect people to pay all this money for this? You made this baby. It’s your responsibility.”

 

This was and is still a difficulty thing to address, as the emotions are very raw.   In fact, I want to backspace and delete this illustration but God is also working with me on vulnerability so I’ll leave it be. I write what He tells me to write.

 

And certainly I would accept hand-me-downs. I’m queen frugal fanny and know how to thrift, consignment and overall how to make a dollar out of fifteen cents so going used is a regular for me. But for this one request, this one need, I had a desire and wouldn’t even give myself permission to dare to dream that I was worthy to receive the gift. And surely I could have purchased it for myself and done away with this whole emotional battle but I know God is working on something in me, something that needs to be excavated.

 

Surely His is working on something in me because it came up again in another issue with a subject I’ve been called to teach on. With that came feelings of being unworthy and unqualified to teach on the subject because I feel it’s an area that I do have plenty of practice but seem to fall short from time to time.

 

What’s the deal with this convoluted thinking?

 

Yet another device of Satan. He is adept at whispering lies that sound very much like the truth. He is skilled as contorting and twisting innocent, pure desires of the heart. And if left unchecked he will write a whole screenplay full of lies and we’ll rehearse the lines over and over again then masterfully act out the play in our everyday lives.

 

What are you worth?

 

BUT for the GRACE of GOD.

 

FAITHFUL & TRUE, He heralds in on a white stallion. He is the KING OF KINGS and THE LORD OF LORDS.

 

He opens His mouth and declares:

 

I am worthy

I am the righteousness of God

I am the apple of His eye

He loves me with an everlasting love

My worth is far above rubies

I am a jewel in His crown

I am His beloved

 

I am not worthy because of MY righteousness, MY works or MY abilities. I am worth it because Jesus declared it is so. [bctt tweet=”Because of His unfailing love for me, He says I am enough just the way I am.”] He says I am valuable, I am worthy, and I am loved.

 

Mmm…I bask in the radiance of His dazzling, pure, true love for me.

 

Thank you Lord for declaring my worth.

 

The Assistant Minister of Music at my church, The First Baptist Church of Glenarden sings a powerful song echoing this truth. Please listen to Anthony Brown & Group TherAPy sing WORTH as you allow this truth to penetrate and minister to your heart.

But then something happened: God our Savior and His overpowering love and kindness for humankind entered our world; He came to save us. It’s not that we earned it by doing good works or righteous deeds; He came because He is merciful. He brought us out of our old ways of living to a new beginning through the washing of regeneration; and He made us completely new through the Holy Spirit, who was poured out in abundance through Jesus the Anointed, our Savior.  All of this happened so that through His grace we would be accepted into God’s covenant family and appointed to be His heirs, full of the hope that comes from knowing you have eternal life.

Titus 3:4-7

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

 

Happy to connect with these friends sharing the Good News Purposeful Faith, Grace & Truth, Mommy Moments, Faith & Friends

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