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What Is Soul Care & Why You Need It Now

Newscasters are telling us. Social media influencers are telling us. Our doctors are telling us.

SELF-CARE
SELF-CARE
SELF-CARE

 

But these days it seems as if self-care has been reduced to temporary, quick fixes. Perhaps a mani/pedi, massage, glass of wine, night with the crew will invoke happy feelings, but in and of themselves they are short lived. While spa visits and whoosah moments are a sweet reprieve from the constant chatter of the world, in and of themselves they will not satisfy your soul’s need for care. This is why we must extend beyond self-care and embrace SOUL CARE.

 

Your soul is your mind, your will and your emotions. And God has given you a soul as a means of connecting with the natural world. But if you are not careful, you begin to live more out of our soul than out of our spirit. You are 1st a spirit being, don’t forget that.

 

Why do you need to care for your soul? Our life experiences directly influence the health of our souls. And when we are subject to hurts, disappoints, other trauma we end up with soul wounds. But there is good news. God has the balm to soothe and heal our wounded souls. But that requires us to present ourselves to Him. We must surrender completely to Him. So let us look at the three areas that comprise the soul.

 

MIND

 

Day by day, moment by moment we must renew our minds. We are bombarded by so much information that infiltrates our minds and much of it is untrue. Which is why we have to constantly feed ourselves the TRUTH of God’s word.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

 

With all that we are experiencing in our world today: pandemic, civil unrest, unemployment, under-employment, health crises and more, it is easy to succumb under the weight of all that pressure.
It is critical that we employ practices that support our mental health. Turning to the truth of God’s word is an effective strategy for managing our thought life. And I have created this resource to support you in calming the mind when everything around you is raging. In Solace In The Storm, my latest devotional, I unlock the promises of Psalm 46, strengthening your resolve that even in the midst of troubles, God’s peace will prevail. I pray that the mind that was in Christ Jesus is also in you (Philippians 2:5) as you keep your mind stayed on Him.

 

WILL

 

Jesus is our example for living. And He emphatically stated that He lived to DO the will of the Father (JOHN 4:34). Our will and God’s will tend to be diametrically opposed. We are naturally inclined to do what we want, when we want, how we want. But this is not God’s desire for us.

Through reading God’s word, prayer and times of solitude, God’s will, will become apparent to us. The onus is then on us to bring our will into alignment with His. And by the power of the Holy Spirit at work in you, you have divine enablement to do this.  For He works in you both to will and to do according to His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13).

 

EMOTIONS

 

God’s gift of emotions is a beautiful treasure but if mishandled becomes problematic. When we are self-centered and self-focused only we can easily allow our emotions to dictate our behavior. But when we are Christ-centered and Christ-focused, we allow the Holy Spirit at work in us to lead and He empowers us to manage our emotions through the spirit.

 

Your range of emotions is not a bad thing. In fact, emotions are a great tool for letting us know what we are sensing and experiencing at any given moment. Without emotions we would not know joy overflowing and abounding love. The key is to acknowledge the emotion we are feeling, to consider its source or root and to surrender it to the Lord. Your flesh and all its longing are crucified and it is Christ that lives in you (Galatians 2:20), empowering you to manage your emotions.

 

Even the food you eat directly impacts  your emotions. If you eat foods that are processed, full of chemicals and additives it’s going to come out in your attitude! Be sure to choose food & beverages that support your peace and well-being. Adaptogens such as reishi mushroom, rosemary and ashwagandha, support feelings of calm and well-being.

 

Here is a simple, nutritious way to start your day. Instead of a sugary carb loaded breakfast, pair this granola with some fruit to start your day.

NUTTY SEED GRANOLA

 

When you spend time strengthening your inner man, you abide in the spirit, you walk in the spirit, and are led of the spirit. In that manner, your spirit takes precedence and enables you to master your soul.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

 

 

 

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Self-Care: Principles For Daily Living

Mama holding her baby while trying to get her teeth cleaned at the dentist.

2 little ones in the room while mamas trying to get a pelvic exam.

Breaking up a sibling squabble right in the middle of your morning devotions.

 

 

Yes, the struggle for self-care is real! But it is critically necessary. Several times this week I’ve been asked how I manage to find time for self-care as a busy entrepreneur, wife, mom, author and ministry leader. To answer that I’m reposting this as it contains my tried and true recipe for self-care.

 

“I like these shoes and can truly use them but I’ll leave them here.”

“Lord, I’d love to have 5 minutes alone to sip coffee and people watch.”

“I’ll skip going on the trip because I’m “sacrificing” for my family.”

 

These are all things I’ve done contrary to self-care. In my mind at the time, I was making necessary sacrifices for my family. But what I did instead was institute a self-imposed suffering. Somehow my mind created a situation in which martyrdom equated holiness. Somehow my mind believed if I denied myself anything pleasurable that was exclusively for me, that I was closer to God.

 

Oh how the mind plays wicked tricks. But oh, how grateful I am that God strategically placed me in several uncomfortable situations to bring this to my attention so we could address the issue. One evening I stood in the Aerosoles shoe store, engaged in a spiritual battle over giving myself permission to purchase a pair of shoes. When I left that store, I literally felt as if I’d been in a fight. That was immediately followed by an interaction the following morning where someone wanted to assist me in being able to attend our upcoming Women’s Retreat. My answer to the shoes and the offer for help were a flat out NO! My self-chatter was “a good mom doesn’t run off and leave her kids to attend a retreat”. “A good mother and wife uses her money wisely and scores the best deals from the thrift store” (mind you the shoes at Aerosoles were on sales for $29.99 with some extra % off and I had the money to purchase them).

 

But God…

 

Through those two incidents and examining past behavior, He revealed to my why I was denying myself and the TRUE reasons were less than honorable. I was no better than the Pharisees.

 

Today I am free of that self-imposed suffering, and even gave myself permission last summer to take a much needed vacation, just me & hubby for the first time in eleven years. I now know and embrace that self-care is ESSENTIAL.

 

Principles For Self Care

 

 

Embrace The Now Moment

Jesus reminds us that tomorrow has enough cares of its own. The past is behind me and the future to TBD thus THIS MOMENT is where grace abounds. God is in the now moment and I want to be where He is so I am purposeful to embrace the beauty and majesty present in THIS moment. For more on embracing the now moment, please watch this video.

 

Calm and Peace

“In the event of an emergency, put on your oxygen mask first”. We’ve heard this popular flight attendant statement often. I now know this to be true for me. If I do things that bring me a sense of calm and peace, I am able to let that calm and peace then flow and permeate my home. For each of us what brings calm and peace may look very different. Using my favorite body wash and lighting my favorite candles brings calm. Quiet time with God in the early morning while it’s still dark outside brings calm and peace for me. Even sitting outside in the direct sun if only for a few minutes revitalizes me.

 

tree in bloom

 

Relationship

I’ve always treasured friendship so for me spending time with my friends is good medicine. Sharing a smile, a laugh, hopes, dreams, disappointments, questions, it’s the sharing and opening of hearts that makes my heart merry.

 

Love my ladies

A merry heart does good like medicine. Proverbs 17:22

 

Limit External Stimuli

I am diligent in guarding what my eyes see and what my ears hear. To protect my mind I have to keep my thoughts on that which is noble, just, and true and of good report. This is not to say I am unaware of what is going on around me but it is my goal to feed myself that which nourishes the mind and spirit. As a result, I limit TV, social media, magazine, shopping, and certain types of music. In order for things to grow healthy, they have to be in an environment conducive to growth and to grow my mind, my relationship with Christ, self and others; I have to feed myself TRUTH.

 

The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! Matthew 6:21-22

 

Pay close attention to what you hear Mark 4:24

 

Pleasure Activities

What do you enjoying doing? I like reading, writing, scrapbooking, travel, the beach and finding new recipes. These little things are pleasurable to me and I actually need to be a little more intentional about creating time to do some of these things.

 

 laptop

 

Beach

Honor The Temple

Caring for others requires me to not only be mentally stable but physically well also. As the mother of 6 children ages 13 and under (including 4 boys) I want to be able to keep pace with them. I want to give piggyback rides, run alongside someone’s bike as they’re learning to ride, and play tag. In caring for my family, my ministry and myself I have to rise early and sometimes go to bed late so I have to ensure I’m getting proper rest. I want my heart and body strong and conditioned to go the distance, which requires exercise. And all of the above can only happen if I honor my temple and fuel my body with the proper nutrients by eating fresh, whole foods.

IMG_6702

Time Alone

I have a constant barrage of stimuli. SIX children talking to me all at once, congestion on the road as I drive them to school, a go-between, peacemaker and playmate to the youngest two who are not in school yet, fielding emails, texts and calls from those I’m called to serve, helping hubby locate an important document that’s gone missing, writing for my next speaking engagement and the list goes on. After all that stimuli, I need to give my brain an opportunity to file and categorize all the information that’s been flying past me throughout the day. And stealing away for time alone is how I do that. Jesus himself went aside for prayer and reflection. Even in this I have to do what’s conducive to my current life. So while I’d love to steal away to a remote beach for 7 days straight, that’s not the most practical for my life right now. But God has shown me how to embrace even the smallest alone moment. A stroll down my long driveway to my mailbox is one of the sweetest times for me. I breathe deeply and take slow, deliberate steps and woosah.

 

And you know what I’ve come to learn? If I don’t practice self-care, if I don’t accept Christ’s invitation to enter into His rest, I’ve actually taken His place in my life. When I continue to trudge forward operating in my own strength and might and do not sufficiently nurture my mind, my body and my spirit, I’m say without directly saying, “I am all sufficient. I am all powerful. I can do all things.”

I, I, I.

[bctt tweet=”We run the risk of idol worship when we do not enter into His rest.” username=”inspiredfully”]

 

 

DSCN3762

 

I implore you; if you don’t currently have a self-care regime, please implement one. If you are going to be effective in serving and caring for others you must care for yourself. I used to hear that and think it was cliché but now I know it to be the truth. It is crucial for my mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

 

What things do you do for self-care?

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired to Live Fully!

 

Happy to connect with these friends sharing the Good News Mommy Moments, Purposeful Faith, Chasing Community, Grace & Truth

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Beware of These Three Signs

Superwoman

 

Wonder Woman

 

Storm

 

Somehow the world has come to believe that we really are SUPER women. And we’ve bought into the lie. “I’m every woman, it’s all in me.” I can be assertive in the boardroom, passionate in the bedroom, gentle and patient with my children, slay on the runway, slice and dice in the kitchen, all at the same time with a smile on my face. And in the meantime in between time, I don’t require self-care because I don’t have time for ME while I’m tending to everyone and taking care of everything.

 

We’ll I’m come by today to shed the light of truth on this situation here and now. I pray this frees someone today for whom the Son sets free is free indeed!

 

The ability to do all and to be every woman because “It’s all in me” comes at a price.

 

Have exhaustion and weariness become your standard mode of operating? Have you been pouring out pouring out and pouring out some more until you’ve got nothing left?

 

To give and to serve are dear to the heart of God.

 

Repeatedly Jesus gave and served. But we also see Him break away from the crowds to reflect, restore and refresh so that He could then reengage from a place of power and strength.

 

Have you embraced self-care as part of your wellness routine? Are you exhibiting these three signs that indicate self-care is sorely overdue?

 

Join me over at TiffyTalks to continue reading.

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Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror,

What do I see?

I see a fat girl

Looking at me.

 

“You are fat!”

“Oh my gawd, you are so fat!”

“Do you see those rolls? They are just SO fat!”

 

So went my dialogue with myself.

 

EV-ER-Y SINGLE TIME I walked pass a mirror, these were my thoughts.

 

A torrent of hot lava flowing over my spirit leaving the ash of a charred self image in its wake.

 

Remember her?

 

IMG_0130

 

Gone was my athletic body, replaced now with my post-pregnancy body replete with bumps, lumps and rolls.

 

IMG_0369

 

Pre-pregnancy I was in the best physical shape in my life. I was working out 5-6 days a week. After having been pregnant or nursing for the last 13 years, this was the longest stretch I had gone between pregnancies and I felt like I finally had my body back. I fought kicking and screaming to surrender to my pregnant body. Mid-way through my pregnancy I came to love and accept my pregnant body. But post-baby was another story.

 

“Oohhh girl, you are SO fat!”

 

There I went again. But this time the Holy Spirit stopped me dead in my tracks. As I looked at myself, held in position at the mirror a moment longer, the Holy Spirit said, “Toxic thoughts. You speak life and encouragement to everyone else and you are speak death to yourself.”

 

Grateful that he got my attention, I knew I had to o something about it. I had to excavate the skills I’d acquired from

The 21 Day Brain Detox. I had to take those toxic thoughts captive and replace them with the TRUTH.

 

I was speaking with a friend the other day and she says she asks herself “Is it true?”

 

For truth says:

 

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

PSALM 139:13-15

 

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.

Song of Solomon 4:7

 

I am created in His image. You are created in His image. You are His workmanship. [bctt tweet=”You are a work of art, skillfully wrought at the hands of a Master artisan.” username=”inspiredfully”] You are beautiful, capable, and more than enough just the way you are.

 

THIS IS THE TRUTH.

 

And what was this preoccupation with body image anyway? I thought this was something I had resolved and put to rest. Having been heavier before, I learned to listen to the Holy Spirit as to how to honor my temple. And even though I know this is baby weight and it will most likely all disappear, I’m still nervous. And even though I have gone back down to my former size after every baby (five times I’ve bounced back), there is still this looming doubt, “What if I don’t lose the weight this time?” I just can’t bear the thought of walking around indefinitely feeling like The Stay Puft Marshmallow (ok so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but if you’ve ever been concerned about weight you get what I’m saying). Of course it doesn’t help when all my old clothes are still hanging in my closet but I can’t fit any of them. And there are but a handful of pieces I can fit so it can be overwhelming just to get dressed. Then don’t let me stumble upon old pics in my phone because that can hurl me smack dab into a pit of self-loathing.

 

What lies are trying to tap dance their way across you’re your mind?

 

Shatter the darkness and ditch the lies. Allow the light of truth to permeate every crack, corner and recess of your mind. Allow His light and love to course through your veins. Meditate on that which is true, lovely and praiseworthy.

 

The other day, I saw a glimpse of myself, smiled and thought, “Yes girl, you are working it!”

 

No pride. No vanity. Just a girl, loved by an awesome Father.

 

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

 

Happy to partner with these friends sharing the Good News Purposeful Faith, Mommy Moments, Grace & Truth

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