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Self-Care: Principles For Daily Living

Mama holding her baby while trying to get her teeth cleaned at the dentist.

2 little ones in the room while mamas trying to get a pelvic exam.

Breaking up a sibling squabble right in the middle of your morning devotions.

 

 

Yes, the struggle for self-care is real! But it is critically necessary. Several times this week I’ve been asked how I manage to find time for self-care as a busy entrepreneur, wife, mom, author and ministry leader. To answer that I’m reposting this as it contains my tried and true recipe for self-care.

 

“I like these shoes and can truly use them but I’ll leave them here.”

“Lord, I’d love to have 5 minutes alone to sip coffee and people watch.”

“I’ll skip going on the trip because I’m “sacrificing” for my family.”

 

These are all things I’ve done contrary to self-care. In my mind at the time, I was making necessary sacrifices for my family. But what I did instead was institute a self-imposed suffering. Somehow my mind created a situation in which martyrdom equated holiness. Somehow my mind believed if I denied myself anything pleasurable that was exclusively for me, that I was closer to God.

 

Oh how the mind plays wicked tricks. But oh, how grateful I am that God strategically placed me in several uncomfortable situations to bring this to my attention so we could address the issue. One evening I stood in the Aerosoles shoe store, engaged in a spiritual battle over giving myself permission to purchase a pair of shoes. When I left that store, I literally felt as if I’d been in a fight. That was immediately followed by an interaction the following morning where someone wanted to assist me in being able to attend our upcoming Women’s Retreat. My answer to the shoes and the offer for help were a flat out NO! My self-chatter was “a good mom doesn’t run off and leave her kids to attend a retreat”. “A good mother and wife uses her money wisely and scores the best deals from the thrift store” (mind you the shoes at Aerosoles were on sales for $29.99 with some extra % off and I had the money to purchase them).

 

But God…

 

Through those two incidents and examining past behavior, He revealed to my why I was denying myself and the TRUE reasons were less than honorable. I was no better than the Pharisees.

 

Today I am free of that self-imposed suffering, and even gave myself permission last summer to take a much needed vacation, just me & hubby for the first time in eleven years. I now know and embrace that self-care is ESSENTIAL.

 

Principles For Self Care

 

 

Embrace The Now Moment

Jesus reminds us that tomorrow has enough cares of its own. The past is behind me and the future to TBD thus THIS MOMENT is where grace abounds. God is in the now moment and I want to be where He is so I am purposeful to embrace the beauty and majesty present in THIS moment. For more on embracing the now moment, please watch this video.

 

Calm and Peace

“In the event of an emergency, put on your oxygen mask first”. We’ve heard this popular flight attendant statement often. I now know this to be true for me. If I do things that bring me a sense of calm and peace, I am able to let that calm and peace then flow and permeate my home. For each of us what brings calm and peace may look very different. Using my favorite body wash and lighting my favorite candles brings calm. Quiet time with God in the early morning while it’s still dark outside brings calm and peace for me. Even sitting outside in the direct sun if only for a few minutes revitalizes me.

 

tree in bloom

 

Relationship

I’ve always treasured friendship so for me spending time with my friends is good medicine. Sharing a smile, a laugh, hopes, dreams, disappointments, questions, it’s the sharing and opening of hearts that makes my heart merry.

 

Love my ladies

A merry heart does good like medicine. Proverbs 17:22

 

Limit External Stimuli

I am diligent in guarding what my eyes see and what my ears hear. To protect my mind I have to keep my thoughts on that which is noble, just, and true and of good report. This is not to say I am unaware of what is going on around me but it is my goal to feed myself that which nourishes the mind and spirit. As a result, I limit TV, social media, magazine, shopping, and certain types of music. In order for things to grow healthy, they have to be in an environment conducive to growth and to grow my mind, my relationship with Christ, self and others; I have to feed myself TRUTH.

 

The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! Matthew 6:21-22

 

Pay close attention to what you hear Mark 4:24

 

Pleasure Activities

What do you enjoying doing? I like reading, writing, scrapbooking, travel, the beach and finding new recipes. These little things are pleasurable to me and I actually need to be a little more intentional about creating time to do some of these things.

 

 laptop

 

Beach

Honor The Temple

Caring for others requires me to not only be mentally stable but physically well also. As the mother of 6 children ages 13 and under (including 4 boys) I want to be able to keep pace with them. I want to give piggyback rides, run alongside someone’s bike as they’re learning to ride, and play tag. In caring for my family, my ministry and myself I have to rise early and sometimes go to bed late so I have to ensure I’m getting proper rest. I want my heart and body strong and conditioned to go the distance, which requires exercise. And all of the above can only happen if I honor my temple and fuel my body with the proper nutrients by eating fresh, whole foods.

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Time Alone

I have a constant barrage of stimuli. SIX children talking to me all at once, congestion on the road as I drive them to school, a go-between, peacemaker and playmate to the youngest two who are not in school yet, fielding emails, texts and calls from those I’m called to serve, helping hubby locate an important document that’s gone missing, writing for my next speaking engagement and the list goes on. After all that stimuli, I need to give my brain an opportunity to file and categorize all the information that’s been flying past me throughout the day. And stealing away for time alone is how I do that. Jesus himself went aside for prayer and reflection. Even in this I have to do what’s conducive to my current life. So while I’d love to steal away to a remote beach for 7 days straight, that’s not the most practical for my life right now. But God has shown me how to embrace even the smallest alone moment. A stroll down my long driveway to my mailbox is one of the sweetest times for me. I breathe deeply and take slow, deliberate steps and woosah.

 

And you know what I’ve come to learn? If I don’t practice self-care, if I don’t accept Christ’s invitation to enter into His rest, I’ve actually taken His place in my life. When I continue to trudge forward operating in my own strength and might and do not sufficiently nurture my mind, my body and my spirit, I’m say without directly saying, “I am all sufficient. I am all powerful. I can do all things.”

I, I, I.

[bctt tweet=”We run the risk of idol worship when we do not enter into His rest.” username=”inspiredfully”]

 

 

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I implore you; if you don’t currently have a self-care regime, please implement one. If you are going to be effective in serving and caring for others you must care for yourself. I used to hear that and think it was cliché but now I know it to be the truth. It is crucial for my mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

 

What things do you do for self-care?

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired to Live Fully!

 

Happy to connect with these friends sharing the Good News Mommy Moments, Purposeful Faith, Chasing Community, Grace & Truth

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4 Things We Must Know To Stay Aligned

You keep being pulled to the left so you keep pulling to the right to compensate. The inside is all worn down but the outer edges looks okay so you shrug your shoulders and brush it off. Then you hit a little bump and it sends you clear into a head on disaster.

 

If only you had gotten an alignment.

 

The purpose of a wheel alignment is to ensure your vehicle’s travel is truly straight, without pulling to one side or the other. The alignment will keep your travel safe, your wheels from uneven wear, your gas burning efficiently and your ride smooth.

 

Isn’t that like life? Our spiritual lives can get out of alignment.

 

I’ve been there. I’ve had times when I was just going through the motions; my prayers were rote, my worship was weak and my praise dry. I can remember as a babe in Christ my spiritual mom telling me that she was in a dry place with God. I COULD NOT fathom what she was talking about. I was on fire for God, shouting from the rafters to anyone who would listen. I couldn’t imagine not being intimately connected and actively engaged with Him. Well…I found out. And it wasn’t an all at once thing. It was the slow ebbing, the slow leaking and you look up one day and the relationship is flat.

 

4 Things We Must Know to Stay Aligned

 

  1. The Signs

 

When your wheels need to be aligned, your steering wheel may be crooked, your car may be pulling to one side or the other, or you may see uneven wear on your tires. We also have signs when we are in need of spiritual alignment. We may feel disconnected to God. We may have fallen into practicing repetitive motions that lack true love and desire to spend time with Him. We may feel like we don’t “need” to pray. Have you skipped days of devotional time? Have you tuned God out? Are your ears dull to hearing His voice? Have you missed a few bible studies or ministry meetings?

 

 

  1. How Did I Get Here

 

Your vehicle can get out of alignment by hitting potholes and bumps in the road, taking corners too fast and the force of gravity from regular driving. Likewise our spiritual lives come upon some potholes. Did a devastating blow cause you to question God’s love, care and concern for you? Did something happen to someone you love and you question his ability to protect? Did your moving too fast to make your own decisions without consulting Him pull you away? Did the everyday little issues of life, working overtime, social media, activity in other social organizations, a new relationship pull your attention away?

 

  1. Get Aligned

 

Well, there’s good news! You can come in for an alignment. When you bring your car to the shop for an alignment, before they even proceed to align the wheels, they perform a thorough inspection of the front-end parts (control arm, tire rods and more). The technician uses high tech equipment to square the car’s wheels and axles. You can bring your spiritual life into alignment by asking God to inspect your heart. Cry out to Him.

 

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

 

He is sure to answer, as He’s always been right there beside you, watching and waiting even if you can’t see or feel Him near.

 

“No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Joshua 1:5

 

Not only is He right there, He loves you and seek to be with you.

 

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3

 

 

  1. Staying Aligned

 

Just like we have regularly scheduled maintenance for our cars, our relationship with God requires regular maintenance. But like with our cars, we sometimes only bring them in when there’s evidence of a problem. Oh, my steering wheel is way too the left, let me bring it in. In our spiritual lives, we may be discouraged, disgruntled and in despair. You can bring yourself to the throne of grace where you can obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

 

How often are you taking with God? Not just taking TO God but WITH God? It should be a daily, ongoing dialogue not a once a day monologue. How often to do you seek Him in His word? How often do you enter His presence with thanksgiving and His courts with praise? And here I’m not even talking about being physically in church but His presence in your heart? Even if you are frustrated, mad, sad, confused, hurt, annoyed, irritated, cynical, jaded…whatever you are feeling just come to Him. He’s waiting with open arms.

 

“I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.” John 6:35

 

Not only have I had to get alignments on my car, I’ve has to get alignments on my spine. After suffering from migraines for over 20 years, I’ve finally been set free. God used the hands of my chiropractor the help facilitate my healing. Chiropractic care was one of my last ditch efforts to rid myself of migraines. I had tried everything: food modification, stress management, breathing techniques, cold compresses, massage therapy, beta blockers, Imitrex, Aspirin, Aleve, Excedrin Migraine, Maxalt, Midrin, Zomig and on and on! All to no avail. But a sweet friend of mine who has witness my bouts with migraines and has even had to take me to the ER for them, was sitting in her chiropractor’s office and immediately called me and said you have to come here. That was 3 years ago and I can count the number of migraines I’ve had since then. My vertebrae get out of alignment and cause irritation, swelling and eventually migraines.   My chiropractor manipulates my vertebrae so they align properly. When out of alignment, my nerves are out of whack and lead to migraines, which can cripple me for days. It impacts my ability to serve my family and my ministry.

 

When we are out of alignment with God, it hampers our ability to effectively do the work He’s tasked to our hands. We can be crippled for days on end. This is yet another example of why it is crucial for regular maintenance. Our relationship with God is a living, breathing one that needs to be fed, watered and fertilized. When off track, we can course correct and get an alignment or adjustment by simply crying out to him and we can then stay aligned by maintaining constant contact with Him.

By the way, if you are indeed in need of a wheel alignment and you live in the DMV, please check out my cousin Terry Brown, owner of Certified Alignments (click here for more info). High quality, reliable, fast, efficient service with a smile is what you’ll receive when patronizing his shop.

 

Do you need an alignment? Join me in prayer.

 

Oh God I thank you that you beckon me to come. I thank you that you stand with your arms open wide ready to receive me. Here I am God. You said you’d never leave nor forsake me. I need to see you. I need to feel you near. You promised in your word that those who come would never thirst nor be hungry. Well God I’m thirsty and hungry so please feed me. God I need you now. Search my heart. Create in me a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

 

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