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Self-Care: Principles For Daily Living

Mama holding her baby while trying to get her teeth cleaned at the dentist.

2 little ones in the room while mamas trying to get a pelvic exam.

Breaking up a sibling squabble right in the middle of your morning devotions.

 

 

Yes, the struggle for self-care is real! But it is critically necessary. Several times this week I’ve been asked how I manage to find time for self-care as a busy entrepreneur, wife, mom, author and ministry leader. To answer that I’m reposting this as it contains my tried and true recipe for self-care.

 

“I like these shoes and can truly use them but I’ll leave them here.”

“Lord, I’d love to have 5 minutes alone to sip coffee and people watch.”

“I’ll skip going on the trip because I’m “sacrificing” for my family.”

 

These are all things I’ve done contrary to self-care. In my mind at the time, I was making necessary sacrifices for my family. But what I did instead was institute a self-imposed suffering. Somehow my mind created a situation in which martyrdom equated holiness. Somehow my mind believed if I denied myself anything pleasurable that was exclusively for me, that I was closer to God.

 

Oh how the mind plays wicked tricks. But oh, how grateful I am that God strategically placed me in several uncomfortable situations to bring this to my attention so we could address the issue. One evening I stood in the Aerosoles shoe store, engaged in a spiritual battle over giving myself permission to purchase a pair of shoes. When I left that store, I literally felt as if I’d been in a fight. That was immediately followed by an interaction the following morning where someone wanted to assist me in being able to attend our upcoming Women’s Retreat. My answer to the shoes and the offer for help were a flat out NO! My self-chatter was “a good mom doesn’t run off and leave her kids to attend a retreat”. “A good mother and wife uses her money wisely and scores the best deals from the thrift store” (mind you the shoes at Aerosoles were on sales for $29.99 with some extra % off and I had the money to purchase them).

 

But God…

 

Through those two incidents and examining past behavior, He revealed to my why I was denying myself and the TRUE reasons were less than honorable. I was no better than the Pharisees.

 

Today I am free of that self-imposed suffering, and even gave myself permission last summer to take a much needed vacation, just me & hubby for the first time in eleven years. I now know and embrace that self-care is ESSENTIAL.

 

Principles For Self Care

 

 

Embrace The Now Moment

Jesus reminds us that tomorrow has enough cares of its own. The past is behind me and the future to TBD thus THIS MOMENT is where grace abounds. God is in the now moment and I want to be where He is so I am purposeful to embrace the beauty and majesty present in THIS moment. For more on embracing the now moment, please watch this video.

 

Calm and Peace

“In the event of an emergency, put on your oxygen mask first”. We’ve heard this popular flight attendant statement often. I now know this to be true for me. If I do things that bring me a sense of calm and peace, I am able to let that calm and peace then flow and permeate my home. For each of us what brings calm and peace may look very different. Using my favorite body wash and lighting my favorite candles brings calm. Quiet time with God in the early morning while it’s still dark outside brings calm and peace for me. Even sitting outside in the direct sun if only for a few minutes revitalizes me.

 

tree in bloom

 

Relationship

I’ve always treasured friendship so for me spending time with my friends is good medicine. Sharing a smile, a laugh, hopes, dreams, disappointments, questions, it’s the sharing and opening of hearts that makes my heart merry.

 

Love my ladies

A merry heart does good like medicine. Proverbs 17:22

 

Limit External Stimuli

I am diligent in guarding what my eyes see and what my ears hear. To protect my mind I have to keep my thoughts on that which is noble, just, and true and of good report. This is not to say I am unaware of what is going on around me but it is my goal to feed myself that which nourishes the mind and spirit. As a result, I limit TV, social media, magazine, shopping, and certain types of music. In order for things to grow healthy, they have to be in an environment conducive to growth and to grow my mind, my relationship with Christ, self and others; I have to feed myself TRUTH.

 

The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! Matthew 6:21-22

 

Pay close attention to what you hear Mark 4:24

 

Pleasure Activities

What do you enjoying doing? I like reading, writing, scrapbooking, travel, the beach and finding new recipes. These little things are pleasurable to me and I actually need to be a little more intentional about creating time to do some of these things.

 

 laptop

 

Beach

Honor The Temple

Caring for others requires me to not only be mentally stable but physically well also. As the mother of 6 children ages 13 and under (including 4 boys) I want to be able to keep pace with them. I want to give piggyback rides, run alongside someone’s bike as they’re learning to ride, and play tag. In caring for my family, my ministry and myself I have to rise early and sometimes go to bed late so I have to ensure I’m getting proper rest. I want my heart and body strong and conditioned to go the distance, which requires exercise. And all of the above can only happen if I honor my temple and fuel my body with the proper nutrients by eating fresh, whole foods.

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Time Alone

I have a constant barrage of stimuli. SIX children talking to me all at once, congestion on the road as I drive them to school, a go-between, peacemaker and playmate to the youngest two who are not in school yet, fielding emails, texts and calls from those I’m called to serve, helping hubby locate an important document that’s gone missing, writing for my next speaking engagement and the list goes on. After all that stimuli, I need to give my brain an opportunity to file and categorize all the information that’s been flying past me throughout the day. And stealing away for time alone is how I do that. Jesus himself went aside for prayer and reflection. Even in this I have to do what’s conducive to my current life. So while I’d love to steal away to a remote beach for 7 days straight, that’s not the most practical for my life right now. But God has shown me how to embrace even the smallest alone moment. A stroll down my long driveway to my mailbox is one of the sweetest times for me. I breathe deeply and take slow, deliberate steps and woosah.

 

And you know what I’ve come to learn? If I don’t practice self-care, if I don’t accept Christ’s invitation to enter into His rest, I’ve actually taken His place in my life. When I continue to trudge forward operating in my own strength and might and do not sufficiently nurture my mind, my body and my spirit, I’m say without directly saying, “I am all sufficient. I am all powerful. I can do all things.”

I, I, I.

[bctt tweet=”We run the risk of idol worship when we do not enter into His rest.” username=”inspiredfully”]

 

 

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I implore you; if you don’t currently have a self-care regime, please implement one. If you are going to be effective in serving and caring for others you must care for yourself. I used to hear that and think it was cliché but now I know it to be the truth. It is crucial for my mental, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

 

What things do you do for self-care?

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired to Live Fully!

 

Happy to connect with these friends sharing the Good News Mommy Moments, Purposeful Faith, Chasing Community, Grace & Truth

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Principles for Daily Living Pt 1

Sometimes resolutions are made and forgotten. Sometimes they’re discarded altogether after a few days. A few years ago, after years of unsuccessfully executing my resolutions I decided to give them up. I have purposed in my heart to live a life based on principles and to steer me along I adopt one word that frames my year. You can read more about that by clicking here. And it’s not so much that I adopt the one word as the word chooses me and I accept.

 

The one word is lived out through my principles. My principles are my fundamental truths that influence my actions. And living out these principles has seen its share of evolution. I am grateful today that the TRUTH has settled in my heart and I no longer view my principles as items to be ticked off a checklist. Yeah, I used to be like the Pharisee. There was a time I actually thought to be a ‘good’ Christian woman I had to literally ‘be’ the Proverbs 31 Woman. I actually made a list of the things I could do to ‘accomplish’ each of the attributes she possessed. Yup, I actually did that. I thought that was what was expected of me until I came into the truth and oh how liberating it was.

 

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,  not of works, lest anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

 

Let’s keep this in proper perspective. My relationship is with God and not with the principles. By living a life surrendered to Him, He leads me in the way and His power at work in me enables me to live out the principles. So here are a few of my foundational principles for daily living as it relates to my relationship with the Father.

 

Obey

As the hymnal goes “There’s no other way than to trust and obey”. I believe if we love God, we are compelled to obey what He tells us to do. Is obedience easy? NO. Do I always want to obey? NO. But I know that He knows what’s best. And out of my love for God, I want to obey. My obedience is a form of worship.

 

Follow

When we obey God is it a natural progression that we would then follow him. Time and again Jesus admonished his hearers “Follow Me”. We want to blaze our own trail. We want to create our own path. God said he would make a road in the wilderness. I think it would be easier to take the route already mapped out for me. Do you agree?

 

Faith

This is a work in progress for me. God has been so faithful to me. Yet doubt can sometimes creep up when I am faced with the unknown. Do I have faith that He will protect my children from danger? Do I have faith that He will heal me: mind, body, spirit? Do I have faith?

 

Prayer

I just have to talk to God. If I didn’t, I would really lose my mind. Prayer enables me to clear my head and to hear from the Lord. I’ve learned over the years that prayer is not a monologue but a dialogue with God. He’s waiting. Won’t you chat with Him today? Nothing fancy, no need for flowery language or rote repetition but sincere two-way dialogue.

 

 

The Word

His word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. God speaks to me most often through His word then He sandwiches the revelation through a confirming word from a person and/or an act of nature. Man I just love how the Father speaks to me. The Word gives me guidance, clarity, perspective, encouragement, chastening, and more.

 

These are just a few of the principles I live by that influence my relationship with God. These principles help keep me anchored so that I’m not left to my own devices making decisions based on how I feel at the moment.

 

What principles influence your relationship with God?

 

Tomorrow I’ll share what principles influence my relationship with self.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!

 

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You Were Made To Be Courageous

Resolution \ˌre-zə-ˈlü-shən\

The act or process of resolving: the act of answering, the act of determining.

 

With the New Year upon us, people often use this time as a springboard to adopt new beliefs, habits, or behavior. We see an increase in gym memberships, church attendance and a decrease in drinking, smoking and the like. But…mid-February many of the resolutions that began strong on January 1st have stalled. There may be vestiges of activity or forgotten altogether.

 

So instead of making New Year’s resolutions that will fade away in a matter of weeks, I invite you to join me in resolving to live a life based on principles. A principle is a belief that helps you know what is right and wrong and influences your actions. Starting tomorrow, I’ll share some of the principles that guide my daily living. In living out my principles I have adopted one word for the year that serves as the rails on which my principles glide. My #oneword365 for 2015 is COURAGE.

courage scrabble

Last year my word was RELEASE. When this word chased me down at the end of 2013, I didn’t understand it, I didn’t want it and I couldn’t see how it was going to be applicable in my life. But it proved to be the perfect word for I was truly granted release. Release from shackles that I didn’t even know I was wearing, released from childhood hurts, releasing myself to give me permission to ENJOY life and not live this self-imposed martyrdom.

 

Now that I am FREE, I feel I’m going to need COURAGE for the next leg of the journey. It’s going to take courage for me to:

 ~Be willing to take risks

~Look fear in the face and not be the one to back down

~Purposefully parent my children in love yet administer correction with grace

~Know when to speak up and when to be silent

~Expand my business

 

I was made to be courageous.

 

“Just keep on trying, and trying and trying. You’re a lion. In your own way be a lion”. So go the lyrics to a song from my absolute favorite movie soundtrack The Wiz. In the movie Diana Ross as Dorothy coaxes the Lion into remembering who he his; he is a lion, standing proud and strong, the bravest of them all.

 

Like Lion in The Wiz, I was made to be courageous.

lion

In being released, I turned my walk into a run and my run into a soar. And it’s certainly going to take courage to look around as I glide at new heights. When I look down from this new vantage point it may be intimidating.

 

Over the weekend, I had an opportunity to take a ride on the Capital Wheel; a ferris wheel over 180-feet tall. When I entered my little cabin, I was slightly apprehensive but was walking in my newfound courage. As I chatted with my friend, the wheel began to turn. So engaged was I in the conversation, that I didn’t realize we had made it to the top of the circle. It was only then did I look up and out the window to see how high up we were. Fear tried to creep in as the magnitude of the height became real to me. So while the new vantage point was intimidating, I stood on courage and enjoyed the ride. And after the 1st rotation, it wasn’t scary at all. In fact, it was kind of monotonous. Score 1 for Team Courage!

capital wheel 1

I was made to be courageous.

 

Time and again scripture admonishes us to have courage.

 

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

 

And one of my favorite scriptures,

 

Joshua 1:7

Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go.

 

A final thought…

 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

 

Celebrating my 2014 Release and intrigued about how COURAGE will present itself in 2015.

 

I was made to be courageous.

You were made to be courageous.

 

What goals, plans or words have you chosen to live out in 2015? Let me hear from you.

 

As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired to Life Fully!

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