“Yes”
“My Heart Says Yes”
“Yes To Your Will”
“I Surrender”
“I Surrender All”
“I Give Myself Away”
“Withholding Nothing”
These are the titles to songs I’ve sung time and time again. But as is the case with many songs we sing, we enjoy the melody, but do we allow the TRUTH of the lyrics to resonate in our hearts?
Do we ‘live out’ the words we sing?
In my heart and mind I’ve truly purposed to surrender ALL to God, withholding nothing. In my heart and in my mind I delightfully obey God. Yet I find myself in situations from time to time where my surrender has been usurped by MY wishes, MY desires, and MY selfishness.
I invite you all into my VERY private space for a moment. Please don’t judge your girl, just pray for me as I illustrate how I can vacillate with this issue of surrender. I am currently the mother of 5 children ages 11 and under. When I got married I planned to have one or two children, my husband and my career. After the birth of my second child, the Lord gave me CLEAR revelation that my body is not my own and was bought at a price therefore I ought to glorify Him in my body and that included my womb. So surrender my womb to Him. That means that I do not have control over my fertility, reproduction, etc. He does. When people ask, “Are you planning to have more {children}?” my answer is, “I don’t know. His will be done”.
While I’ve surrendered my womb to Him, there are days when I literally tell the Lord, “Dude, 5 is good. You hear me? Five is good”. Those moments when I can’t even pee in peace without the two year old barging into the bathroom, while I hear the 4 year old climbing the shelves of the pantry and the 9 & 11 year olds are arguing all the while a pot is burning on the stove. All I want to do is pee in peace. Lord help me, 5 is good.
Yet I look affectionately at the cute pregnant lady walking past me in the grocery store and I feel the emptiness of my womb and wonder, “Will there be another?” My children declare almost daily their longing for a baby sister. They’ve already named her and have a bed ready for her. Each month that I get my cycle is fraught with emotions of relief mixed with a twinge of disappointment. Then if the cycle is a day or two late, I may get anxious with thoughts of how it could really work. How would I manage? Do we have enough money for another baby? I’d need a new car. What about this business I am trying to grow? And on and on.
So you see, even after placing my womb on the altar many years ago, I’m prone every now and again to want to try to run back to the altar and pick it up and run as fast and far as I can in the opposite direction. Even if I don’t pick it up, I may stare longingly, devising plans on how to retrieve it, or trying to negotiate with God on partial surrender (which by the way isn’t surrender). As I said, pray for your girl.
How then do we ‘train’ ourselves to obey? How do we surrender?
We hold fast to the TRUTH.
We meditate on the truth.
And what is the truth?
Jesus is the WAY, THE TRUTH and THE LIFE
His WORD is TRUTH
When the feelings of “5 is good” come up I tell myself the truth saying:
~If I keep my mind on You, You will keep me in perfect peace
~Every good and perfect gift comes from You
~Children are a blessing and the fruit of the womb is a reward
~I’ve never seen the righteous forsaken nor His seed begging bread
~You will supply ALL my needs according to your riches in glory
Then Jesus gently whispers,
“If you love Me, keep My commandments.” John 14:15
He also reminds me that when I do what He says, He will make my way prosperous and I will have good success. In this, He knows I may be weak, fearful and uncertain so He reassures me not to be afraid but to be strong and courageous.
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:8-9
So I cry out to Him in prayer:
You Lord are the Grand Weaver. You see all the strands and intricately weave them together to fashion my story. You pull the tapestry taut as you skillfully make me a new creation. You shed, pick and beat-up as you let off and take up so that I shine without spot or wrinkle. I am weak God. The current of life pulls me in and out. But you Oh God are my anchor. I surrender what I am, to become who you created me to be. I thank you for never leaving nor forsaking me. I thank you that you will be with me until the end of the age. Lord I’m feeling squeezed on every side but I turn my pressure into praise. I thank you for ministering grace and for moving your truth from my head to my heart. Now Lord grant me your peace as I walk out the path you’ve set before me.
To be who He created me to be requires a daily dying to myself. As a disciple, I take up my cross daily and follow Him. And in my everyday life that translates to delightfully obeying Him with a heart of surrender. I surrender. As in the above example, while the thought of a new baby is all at once thrilling and scary, I redirect my attention back to His word.
A few years ago, the Lord impressed upon my heart, “True disciples…OBEY”.
If you are a disciple, a close follower of Christ, do what He tells you to do. Though it may be difficult, He duly equips you. He doesn’t just say, “Follow Me” then runs off and leaves you. NO. He says “Follow Me” then He leads you in paths of righteousness, His rod and staff comfort you, He teaches you along the way, He orders your steps, He knows your uprising and your going down. When you purpose in your heart, Lord YOUR WILL be done, He sends ministering angels to strengthen you.
He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. Luke 22:41-43
For me it’s an undisclosed number of children. For you it may be your job, your marriage, your mind, your ministry, your health, your children.
In what area(s) is He calling you to surrender?
In what area(s) is He calling you to obey?
I want to join you in prayer so write your thing in the comment section below. Once you admit it, then surrender it, you can move forward in delightfully obeying Him.
As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!
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