With a God vision and a God plan I had carefully mapped out my 2015-2016. My 2014 ended with working on my vision book for 2015. Yes Lord! Let’s steamroll right ahead into the New Year and into my next level of success.
And for once, I was giving myself permission to dream big. Yes, big God-sized dreams. A few months into 2015 and I was working the plan. One of my goals was to be in the best physical condition to date. As a result I bought in 2015 with a 3-day green smoothie cleanse followed by 7 days of eating only raw foods. My exercise regime was great and I was dedicated and focused working out at least 5 days a week. And as always I continued to research new recipes, foods and findings that would support my efforts to maintain a nourishing kitchen.
Spiritually I was right where I wanted to be. Then in March I attended a retreat and had several supernatural encounters with God that absolutely blew my mind. Essentially He elevated me, calling me to a higher station and level of responsibility in the Kingdom. I was thanking Him, praising Him and experiencing worship in fresh new ways.
I researched pre-schools for my 2 year old with plans to enroll him in school 2 days a week in the fall. I would use those 2 days as office hours, continuing to establish the Inspired Life brand and enlarge my speaking platform. My 4 year old was slated to start kindergarten too, thus creating time and space to work my business.
After years of mastering smoothies in my kitchen, I finally decided to write a 30-day smoothie book. Even though I was making a different smoothie almost everyday, I never wrote any of the recipes down. But repeated promptings from friends and one conversation in particular, it finally hit me, yes you must do this project. That first day I sat down to write the recipes the Lord gave me 17 complete recipes in one sitting. Then a few months later, the Lord prompted a photographer to offer to bless me by doing the photo shoot as a deposit into my ministry. First book nearly there. Indeed it was a time to rejoice.
Yup, I had it all lined up only to find that the Lord was preparing me for something else entirely.
There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens
Ecclesiastes 3:1
My husband started a new job and was inundated in getting acclimated to that new environment rendering him unavailable to assist in several ways he normally would. That additional work was to be physically and mentally absorbed by me.
The seat that I thought my kindergartener would secure at the same school as his 3 school-aged siblings wasn’t secured after all. In fact, quite the opposite happened. He was denied by the school, denied by the appeals office then subsequently denied by the school board itself. As it stood, he’d be separated from his siblings, forced to attend our boundary school.
My brother in law became ill and the fight for his life ensued. My sweet husband spent countless hours by his beside. My father was having a major crisis hundreds of miles away. After hearing the agony in his voice for months on end, I packed up the children to take an emergency intervention trip to visit him.
Nonetheless with all the added pressure, I was hopeful that the many God sized dreams in my vision book would come to pass as a few of them were already underway; my spiritual growth and my physical health, yes Lord thank you for faithfully bringing the vision to pass.
Then I began a 40 days fast completely surrendering all. Easy to say, but much harder to live out real time. Nonetheless, I surrendered control and my prayer for the 40 days was YOUR WILL YOUR WAY. Yes Lord, together let’s keep the vision moving forward. Little did I know He’d give ample opportunity for me to practice this declaration.
The school year began and my son still did not have a seat in the school with his siblings. While I continue to fight and pray, he was enrolled for home school. My pre-schooler was sign up and ready to begin his 2 days a week. My brother in law succumbed to his battle for life.
And in his departure, I conceived. In fact, in my brother in law’s passing, I specifically told the Lord, “A baby cannot replace him so don’t get an ideas.”
But since God has known each of us from the beginning of time, he knew exactly when this baby would be conceived. And conceiving a baby was ONE thing that absolutely was NOT in my vision book for 2015. Trade my four-pack for a fat pack? Umm…no thank you. I’ve been working diligently for you Lord to honor this temple and this is how you repay me? All day, everyday sickness and a swollen belly?
Really God?!
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
Ecclesiastes 3:11
New life. What a blessing and a joy.
Extra time with my kindergartener before he had to leave for school.
Extra time with my husband to comfort him as he grieved.
Indeed He does make everything beautiful in its time. But in order to embrace that, we have to SEE through eyes of faith. We have to be able to see “In Time”. Seeing in time is begin able to embrace the now moment, not living in the past nor pining for the future but being “in time” for IN TIME is where God is.
But I wasn’t in time with God. I was on the sidelines of my life, having a temper tantrum. I pouted and whined as I saw the death of my vision book. I threw myself on the floor replete with kicking and flailing as I mourned the death of my God vision.
For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.
Habakkuk 2:3
But God is faithful. He sheds light, speaks truth, heals broken hearts and hugs you even mid tantrum. I thank Him that He’s not like me because I probably would have left me there kicking and screaming to flounder on my own. But he picked me up, wiped my tears and reassured me of His truth.
He whispered:
~Your prayer was MY WILL, MY WAY. I heard your prayer and I answered.
~This delay is not a denial.
~This is not the death of your vision but a pause for character development
~The appointed time for all I am working on will come to pass better than you can imagine or think
~I love you so much I made an in person visitation to touch your womb
For a moment my vision was blurry (read more on that HERE). I thought what I put in that book had died. But the truth is, He is working overtime on my behalf, behind the scenes to align the hearts (mine included), the people and the resources to bring the vision to fruition. The vision WILL manifest at its appointed time.
And in the interim, I will embrace the process. Oftentimes we want to circumvent the process and take shortcuts but in this there are no shortcuts, just the sure true steps of following paths of righteousness for his namesake.
[bctt tweet=”Circumvent the PROCESS and you circumvent your BLESSING.”]
What season are you in?
How do you behave when a season change catches you off guard?
Do you react with tantrums, rebellion or fear?
Or do you respond with a yes in your spirit and a yes on your lips?
It is my prayer that you delightfully obey Him and embrace the now moment as you have not seen, nor have you heard nor has it entered your heart the things the Lord has prepared for you. His thinking is SO vast, deep and wide that we cannot comprehend it. But we do know that His plans are to give us a future and a hope. Be hopeful and find delight in whatever season you find yourself.
As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!
Happy to connect with these friends sharing the Good News LifeGivingLinkup, Mommy Moments, Purposeful Faith