With wind and a cold mist peltering his face like a zillion little bullets, daredevil Nik Wallenda became the first person to walk a tightrope directly over Niagara Falls. Taking the 1,800 feet trek, 200 feet above the falls, Wallenda teetered and swayed as he took careful steps in an attempt to maintain balance in order to reach the other side.
Mamas, do you ever find yourself perched precariously above treacherous waters, bearing a heavy load all in an attempt to make it safely to the other side?
Do you ever bear the weight of caring for your children, meeting your boss’ expectations, satisfying your husband in the bedroom, caring for an aging parent, and bringing food to a neighbor who just had a baby? And all that was happening within the first half of the day. WHEW!
Then factor in round two of returning an emails to the teacher, attempting to put a half way decent meal on the table, finding someone’s jersey for practice, pulling beans out of your baby’s ear then remember you forgot to pay a bill and today was the last day before cut off.
Mamas, you manage a dozen or more moving parts, ALL at the same time. Where’s the balance in that?
The notion of “balance” summons an image of perfectly executing ALL my responsibilities, ALL in perfect order, ALL the time. It looks like being everything to everyone, doing everything for everyone and looking cute and wearing a smile while doing it. And somehow mamas, we’ve bought into this LIE!
Yes. There, I’ve said it. The notion of balance we’ve been told is a lie. We’ve been sold a bill of goods that is no good for our mental, physical and emotional health. We’ve been shamed into thinking if we cannot “balance” all of our many responsibilities, all at the same time that we are bad mommies.
Well, I’ve come by to shed the light of TRUTH on that lie.
You very well may be capable of achieving some super human mommy feats of greatness. But it is unrealistic to believe you have to do ALL things well, ALL at the same time.
[bctt tweet=”Trying to achieve balance can become a fruitless pursuit of an elusive goal if you’re not careful.” username=”inspiredfully”] While it is great to have an ideal that you’d like to achieve, ensure that the pursuit is rooted and grounded in seek the Kingdom first. Also ensure that the pursuit is even realistic and attainable given your time, energy and resources. And beware of fall into the pit of perfectionism.
It is in embracing our imperfection, in knowing our limitations and in being realistic with our capabilities that we can truly achieve an attainable semblance of balance. Yes, “I’m every woman, its all in me” as Chaka Khan and Whitney sang. But I don’t have to be everything, to everyone all at the same time.
So what do you do?
Assess Expectations
Reassess your expectations of yourself. Are they realistic? Are you setting yourself up for success or failure with the demands you’ve placed on yourself?
Windows Of Opportunity
Have you made realistic goals for what you hope to achieve based on your time, energy and resources? I know you’ve planned to wash, dry, fold and put away 4 loads of laundry today but if you’re only home 4 hours in the evening IT AIN”T GONNA HAPPEN. Realistically there is not enough time so don’t sabotage yourself with unrealistic goals. Now I am a high achiever and believe in setting lofty goals, but we want to position ourselves for success and that requires an accurate assessment of what can truly be done given what we have.
Let It Go
Here’s another good one for you to think about. What can I let go? What is a level B or C that I can put off for another day, delegate or eliminate entirely?
Mamas, I know first hand the delicate work of trying to achieve and maintain balance. Surrender it all to Him. Allow the Lord to direct your steps as you seek to honor Him with your time and efforts. Free yourself from the trap of perfectionism and walk in the freedom of knowing you’re doing the best you can with what you have. (And to those who could be more disciplined, the Lord can help you too).
The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 2 Chronicles 16:9a
As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!
Happy to connect with these friends sharing the Good News Mommy Moments, Purposeful Faith, Chasing Community, Grace and Truth