I Have Faith Issues
Thank you for joining me this week as I celebrate 1 year of blogging. The journey has been an interesting ride. I thought I’d just be writing, an easy task since writing’s all I’ve every done consistently since childhood. But it’s been so much more than that. It’s been about me connecting hearts and mind with my readers. It’s been about me growing in my relationship with Christ. It’s been about me learning how to truly be authentic, transparent and vulnerable. Before those were merely buzz words, now they are personal.
With that in mind, I’m reposting the TOP VIEWED post in my year of blogging. I never imagined before I began that I’d let readers into such a raw space but given the views of this post, readers can identify with honesty. While my faith has increased since the post, I’m still a work in progress. Coming up this weekend I’m supposed to take another faith move but right now I’m quaking in my boots trying to find an escape route.
Lawd, help me!
Thank you for walking alongside me on the journey. Be blessed.
Bold Faith? Nope.
Radical Faith? Uh-uh.
Mustard Seed Faith? Some days.
Ok, so I’ve got faith issues. Twice last week God gave me a vision of what He thinks I’m capable of. And twice last week I threw blankets of doubt over the visions, smoldering them with my limited thinking and lack of belief. I know I have faith issues.
I was watch a teaching and the man stated, “If you say things like ‘I just don’t see how’ or ‘I just can’t see that happening’, you have a faith issue. Yup, that’s me. I often rehearse statements like that in my head. But again God in his faithfulness led me right to His word to shed light. I opened my bible to read about His willingness to heal the lepers. Then He drew my eyes a couple verses over. He tells Simon to let down his nets. And Simon responds just as I would have done, with doubt and disbelief. “Lord, I don’t see how that’s gonna work”. I know I have faith issues.
This year my One Word 365 is courage. I am believing God to give me bold faith and the courage to move beyond fears so that I can carry out all He’s called me to do, uninhibited. A few weeks ago I was cleaning out a purse and found some notes from a Sunday service in October of 2014 where we had a visiting pastor. His message was from 1 Samuel 17 and was entitled “I Am A Giant Slayer”. Finding these notes was so timely as I have been engaged in spiritual warfare. It also confirmed for me my word for this year on having courage. Then that Sunday my Pastor began a multipart teaching from the SAME text entitled Facing Your Giant! Our God is so loving and so timely that he uses others to be His mouthpiece to declare His truths so that we can be free!
God knows I believe but I’m scared. Scared of being let down. Scared of being hurt. Scared of being rejected. Scared of disappointment. But He is so faithful and loves me so much that He is confirming His word to me time and time again. And He loves you too and will communication His truth to you. Just have an open heart and an open mind to receive. Yes, I have faith issues, but He’s increasing my faith.
Jesus please don’t scold me as you did those standing around when you healed the mute boy. “Oh you faithless generation” you exclaimed. My cry Jesus is that of the boy’s father, “I believe but help my unbelief”.
The question is not IF GOD CAN, as the boy’s father asks. Jesus clarifies that for us in giving the man’s question back to him “If I can”. So I’ve shifted. I know you CAN God, but are you willing to do it for me?
And He’s already answered that for me too. He is willing. Just as He told the lepers in Luke 5:12-13, “I Am Willing”, [bctt tweet=”He’s assuring us, not only is He ABLE but He is also WILLING.”]
I thank God that He doesn’t leave us where we are but loves us so much that He sheds His light on every crevice, recess and crack in our hearts to expose them to His truth.
Oh God strengthen my microscopic faith. Magnify it Oh God. Have compassion on me. Take my mustard seed faith, plant it in nutrient rich soil and water it Lord so that it may grow radically.
Yes I have faith issues, but He’s strengthening my faith.
One commentary I read said if your faith could lay hold of His Omnipotence all is done. So Lord my faith lays hold of your limitless power. I believe you are able. I know that you love me. And I know that you are willing thus it is so.
Do I have issues with faith? Yes. But I am being transformed.
Mustard seed faith? Yup.
Bold faith? Walking toward it.
Radical faith? Right on the horizon.
I stretch forth, break forth and move forward in faith.
A few points to ponder:
Do you struggle with faith?
How have you increased your faith?
How had God been faithful to you?
For additional reading:
As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!
Love this! It’s crazy how quickly we go from trusting God and longing for His visions for us to totally doubting Him, isn’t it? I love that idea of being brave and trusting His visions for us, even when they seem super scary. Thanks for this encouragement!
Lauren,
And that’s exactly what I did. God showed me my name on a book cover and because I didn’t have initials behind my name on the cover I killed the idea. But I command my thoughts to come into the obedience of Christ. I will myself to put on the mind of Christ and I agree that what he looses in heaven will be loosed on earth and I WILL do my part to advance the kingdom and my small faith and fear will not be a stumbling block and I pray all this for you too friend. Thanks for stopping by.
” Scared of being let down. Scared of being hurt. Scared of being rejected. Scared of disappointment. ” Are you reading my journal? I once saw someone write that our mustard seed faith can move mountains because it isn’t about the size of our faith, but the size of the One we have faith in. I’m struggling through this too! Thank you for your words!
Not quite reading your journal simply sharing from mine and it seems we share thoughts. But in Jesus’ name we will meditate on TRUTH. Perfect lives casts out fear. We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. And HE is the author and finisher of our faith. Here’s to bold, radical faith!
I so enjoyed this post because my #OneWord365 is “Believe” 🙂 My word last year was “faith”. So yeah, as you can see – I also struggle. But here is what I am learning … each time I am challenged to believe Him is another opportunity for my faith to increase! I thought it so strange that God would give me “believe” after a year of “faith”. But in His wisdom & grace, He knew the lessons I would need to grow in faith as I believe Him. I think this is my first time here so, “It is nice to meet you!”
Joanne,
I SO get it my friend. God has been revealing this to me in stages. My 1st stage was to believe God is able. CHECK. Then I had to believe in his unfailing love for me. CHECK. Then I had to believe that he was willing to do it for me. CHECK. Now I just have to accept it and walk in it. It is a process friend and I join you in prayer. Thanks for stopping by and a pleasure to meet you to. Do come again.