Mirror, Mirror
Mirror, Mirror,
What do I see?
I see a fat girl
Looking at me.
“You are fat!”
“Oh my gawd, you are so fat!”
“Do you see those rolls? They are just SO fat!”
So went my dialogue with myself.
EV-ER-Y SINGLE TIME I walked pass a mirror, these were my thoughts.
A torrent of hot lava flowing over my spirit leaving the ash of a charred self image in its wake.
Remember her?
Gone was my athletic body, replaced now with my post-pregnancy body replete with bumps, lumps and rolls.
Pre-pregnancy I was in the best physical shape in my life. I was working out 5-6 days a week. After having been pregnant or nursing for the last 13 years, this was the longest stretch I had gone between pregnancies and I felt like I finally had my body back. I fought kicking and screaming to surrender to my pregnant body. Mid-way through my pregnancy I came to love and accept my pregnant body. But post-baby was another story.
“Oohhh girl, you are SO fat!”
There I went again. But this time the Holy Spirit stopped me dead in my tracks. As I looked at myself, held in position at the mirror a moment longer, the Holy Spirit said, “Toxic thoughts. You speak life and encouragement to everyone else and you are speak death to yourself.”
Grateful that he got my attention, I knew I had to o something about it. I had to excavate the skills I’d acquired from
The 21 Day Brain Detox. I had to take those toxic thoughts captive and replace them with the TRUTH.
I was speaking with a friend the other day and she says she asks herself “Is it true?”
For truth says:
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
PSALM 139:13-15
You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.
Song of Solomon 4:7
I am created in His image. You are created in His image. You are His workmanship. [bctt tweet=”You are a work of art, skillfully wrought at the hands of a Master artisan.” username=”inspiredfully”] You are beautiful, capable, and more than enough just the way you are.
THIS IS THE TRUTH.
And what was this preoccupation with body image anyway? I thought this was something I had resolved and put to rest. Having been heavier before, I learned to listen to the Holy Spirit as to how to honor my temple. And even though I know this is baby weight and it will most likely all disappear, I’m still nervous. And even though I have gone back down to my former size after every baby (five times I’ve bounced back), there is still this looming doubt, “What if I don’t lose the weight this time?” I just can’t bear the thought of walking around indefinitely feeling like The Stay Puft Marshmallow (ok so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but if you’ve ever been concerned about weight you get what I’m saying). Of course it doesn’t help when all my old clothes are still hanging in my closet but I can’t fit any of them. And there are but a handful of pieces I can fit so it can be overwhelming just to get dressed. Then don’t let me stumble upon old pics in my phone because that can hurl me smack dab into a pit of self-loathing.
What lies are trying to tap dance their way across you’re your mind?
Shatter the darkness and ditch the lies. Allow the light of truth to permeate every crack, corner and recess of your mind. Allow His light and love to course through your veins. Meditate on that which is true, lovely and praiseworthy.
The other day, I saw a glimpse of myself, smiled and thought, “Yes girl, you are working it!”
No pride. No vanity. Just a girl, loved by an awesome Father.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30
As always, it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!
Happy to partner with these friends sharing the Good News Purposeful Faith, Mommy Moments, Grace & Truth
This is a topic that’s near and dear to my heart! You’re such an encouragement to all of us – speaking truth in a place so easily bombarded with lies. In a culture so enthralled in the physical, the flesh, it’s a huge temptation to define ourselves by it. Keep it up. Keep it up. Keep it up!!! I’m happy to have been your neighbor at random over at Kelly’s place today.
Meg,
Sorry for the delay in replying I never received notification of this comment. I pray that you’ve been staying the course and vigilantly guarding your mind space. Today, where I am in the Mid-Atlantic it is sunny & beautiful. I pray where ever you are today that you can join me in meditating on things true, pure and lovely. Let’s bask in the light of his immense love today.
I can so relate to you here, Tyra. This is me: “You speak life and encouragement to everyone else and you are speak death to yourself.” The mirror and photos of myself are my enemies lately. Thank you for this encouragement and speaking truth to those of us who really need it. Give yourself time and love, my sweet friend. You look beautiful and you created a little human :)! XOXO
Candace,
Forgive the delay I just found your comment and how timely considering I just read your post about your war room. As I said over there, I believe warranted repeating here, the mirrors will not be a stumbling block but will serve as a BEAUTIFUL reminder that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, that we are loved, that we are more than enough!
My mirrior says “your face looks horrible”, “you can’t go out looking like that, people are going to be staring at your acne and not really listening to you”.
In my spirit, I keep hearing the Holy Spirit say those dreaded words, drink “MORE WATER”! But like a child, I have tantrums and make excuses as to why I can’t drink water! So, I guess then I cannot complain when Im not doing my part. OUCH!
Got this while typing the above…
Revelation: Its not enough to “KNOW” the TRUTH. But we have to BELEIVE the TRUTH, ACCEPT the TRUTH and APPLY the TRUTH!
So, glad to hear you have grabbed hold of the what the FATHER says about you and how HE feels toward you ! I pray that you continue to walk in that FREEDOM sis!
“WE ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE…” man, is that WORD of TRUTH, so POWERFUL! Even with a few more curves or with acne and scars, WE are LOVED! We are ACCPETED! WE are HIS!
Thank you for this word.of encouragement today!
Just seeing this comment friend so forgive the delay. And you are so right that information (just knowing) without application is just continued frustration. It’s dancing today in the truth that he loves us!