Authentic. Unmasked. Genuine. Transparent. REAL.
Naked and unashamed.
Exposed. Letting it all hang out to be REAL.
I’ve always been very good at “Putting on Tyra”. I can turn on the smile, lilt the cadence of my voice, and be engaging and dynamic when the environment necessitates. While I am naturally an energetic, social, loving extrovert, but there are times I long to retreat into “my world” of being raise an only child with the comfort and solitude of me alone in the back of my mother’s closet reading a book.
The Lord first bought to my attention that I was play-acting and not always being real. I truly believed I was an authentic honest person but I came to see the real was not always so.
It was 9:00pm and a member of my ministry leadership team (of which I am the Director) called. Well, I hit the wall between 7-8pm. From before sunrise until 6pm I coast at 50,000 but after six I start to make the descent and between 7-8 I’ve landed and am officially DONE! You hear me, done. I have told my children, the bible says His mercies are new every morning because at some point in the night they run out and mine for tonight is done (smile). So at the time of this call, I was done but briefly considered “putting on Tyra” to receive the call. I contemplated not answering because I was just not in the mood to be chipper and bubbly. Frankly, I was exhausted and was counting the minutes to get in the bed.
In that moment, I was convicted. The Holy Spirit gently whispered to me, it is ok to JUST BE. He was telling me it is ok for people to experience the full range of you: the energetic you along with the reserved quiet you. Somehow I had come to believe that people only wanted to interaction with the on-stage Tyra. Well, we all have off-stage lives. He was encouraging me to be real. I’m happy to say I did answer the phone and accepting that call was a major step in beginning to be ok with being the real me.
That was over three years ago. And in the time that has passed, He has continued to peel back the layers encasing the fearfully wonderfully made creation His fashioned. I marvel at how I am transforming. In so many ways I thought I was the real deal in my interactions with others. But He’s shown me otherwise in letting me see:
~I share my struggles but only to a select few
~I share my testimony but the edited, clean version
If I’m going to worship Him, I must do so in spirit and in truth. And that demands that I am real, real with God, real with others and real with myself.
And a work He is doing! Last week was a tough one for me. I got another rejection letter about schooling for my son, my daughter was falsely accused of something at school, my household dynamic shifted with hubby starting a new job and I’ve been excavating deeply buried guilt, shame and regret. Needlessly to say, the issues of life will bring you face to face with the real. And I let all the REAL show as I surrendered “putting on Tyra” and had an emotional public breakthrough in my Saturday morning workout class, replete with tears and snot.
Are you being real?
Friends, give yourself permission to be open, available and receptive to experience your real. It may be a little scary, but you are bold and courageous. Relationships are hanging in the balance. Free yourself to be open to the possibilities of experiencing your real self.
Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed.
Free to be Authentic. Unmasked. Genuine. Transparent. REAL.
As always it is my prayer that you’ve been Inspired To Live Fully!
Connecting with friends at Five Minute Friday
[…] with spiritual, mental and emotional healing (you can read more of that by clicking here and here), I was left drained and overwhelmed. I was literally feeling hard pressed on every side. I cried […]
Great, great, truly great post. Loved reading it. Thank you. I identify with you, and your honesty, on so many levels. How refreshing your voice is. I’ll make it a habit to stop off to read you on my FMF jaunts around the internet {A FMF friend}
You raise a very good point – it is scary at times to be real. We will need to take courage to do so. But He gives us both the strength & the courage in Him. We will so grow as we become real & we will help others to grow as well. Glad to have been your neighbor this morning at fmfparty 🙂
Joanne thanks for stopping by and may you be strong and of good courage as you give yourself permission to be real.
You had me at “tears and snot.” That’s real. I am well skilled at holding back the tears and snot. I can get the words out, sometimes, but I shove down the lump in my throat and keep the tears at bay. I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember. There have been times when the tender feelings were so much that the dam just broke. And when that happened, I found an open door and a connection. Still, it’s a wrestling match within me to let the tears come.
My older daughter is the same way. Recently, I wept in front of her, and she hugged me. It was one of the most tender moments I can recall. She got to see me broken and real. While it wasn’t appropriate for me to tell her the details, she got to see the real me with a generous portion of snot and tears. And when I look back on that, I realize we both gave each other a gift.
And let me tell you Cheryl after my breakdown in the workout class last week I returned STRONG today. It was complete beastmode. I felt like Rocky when he climbed and stairs and cheered at the top.